GOD’S CONSTANT LOVE FOR ME

Background

My name is Calisto Seco, a second year novice from East Timor. I am the third child in a family of four brothers. I was born into a traditional Catholic family. My father is a farmer. My mother was a housewife. She passed away when I was 9 years old. My family is not rich. My father has to work very hard to bring the family up. For this he is very dependent on a good harvest every year.

My family and my fellow villagers have great devotion to Our Lady. During May and October each year, we would bring the statue of Our Lady from our Parish chapel to every house in the village, where the Rosary is said every night in different houses.

My educational background

I went to a Catholic primary school in my village. We only saw our Parish Priest once every two months. During his visits my parents, my fellow villagers and I would attend Mass and go for Confession. The Priest would give talks about Christian values to all of us in the village. I always looked forward to our Priest’s visits. My fellow villagers would also stop farming during these visits. It was a community event of spending time with the Lord.

As children, my friends and I will always try to kiss the priest’s hand. For us, this is a sign of touching the Lord’s hand. Our parents told us that we would get much blessings from God for doing it. Whenever I did it, I felt a lot of joy and peace. As I was growing up, I began to ask myself, “Why is this Priest’s presence so significant to us villagers?”

When I was 13 years old, I studied in a secondary school which was 25 km away in another village. To get there I had to walk. Fortunately, the school had a hostel. However, there was no food court, like we have here in Singapore. So, I had to learn to be independent. I learnt to cook and wash for myself. Throughout my school days, I never forgot to keep up with my prayer devotions and attended Sunday Masses. I began and ended each day with prayer.

God’s love and care

I then went to continue my junior college in an agriculture school which was in the Eastern part of East Timor. I lived further and further away from my family. My father’s advice to me was very simple, “Do your best in your studies, as I work hard in the farm, and remember, no girlfriend’’. I stayed in the college hostel. Thank God, it also provided food; so I need not have to cook for myself.

I was very happy to find a grotto of Our Lady in the school compound. So, every night I would have my devotion to Our Lady for 30 minutes. There was also a choir group among the students because the Parish church was quite close to the school. I joined the choir a few weeks after I arrived. There also I met a Franciscan nun who was my teacher. She was very friendly and she loved all of her students very much. I appreciated her love and sacrifices. Her way of living her religious life touched me deeply.

I became more active in the church’s activities. The more involved I got in the church, the more God touched me through the people I came into contact with. One day, I attended a vocation sharing by a Deacon who was about to be ordained. I was very touched by his life story. There I felt a deep desire to be a priest. However, I didn’t know how I should go about it or which Religious Order that I should turn to. Moreover, I felt unworthy of being called to the priesthood vocation. To me, it is impossible for God to call a poor villager like me to be his priest. So, I pushed my desires and attractions to be a priest aside. Nevertheless, I kept up with my devotions and involvement in the Church activities. One day, to my surprise, my roommate told me, “Calisto, you are in the wrong school. You should be in a seminary; not in an agriculture school.” I just kept quiet. However, in my own quiet moments, I would reflect seriously on what the priesthood vocation was about.

Besides all these activities, I tried to earn some money for my personal needs. I planted vegetables which I sold at the market early in the morning before my classes began. When I was about to finish my agriculture studies, a war broke out in 1999.

I was separated from my family. While they fled to Indonesia as refugees for two weeks, I escaped into the jungle with the villagers near my school. One night, gun shots were fired very close to our hiding place. We were terrified and so we ran into a nearby banana plantation to hide. I was so terrified that I did not even know that I was sitting on someone’s shit. I only smelt it after 30 minutes of sitting on it. Thank God the militia didn’t reach our hiding place.

On April 2000, the danger had subsided. So, I went home to my village to meet my family. All the houses, including ours were totally burnt and destroyed by the militias. We stayed in a tent for 5 months. All my fellow villagers helped one other to rebuild each other’s houses. In September 2000, I went back to finish my agriculture course in Dili.

God knows when he would call me.

One day, while I was waiting for the result of my final exams, I went to attend Mass in a Jesuit’s residence. It was a Friday morning. After Mass, I looked around as it was my first time there. I then came across a Jesuit vocation recruitment brochure. As I read the Pre-novitiate program, felt a deep peace, joy and happiness within me. Whatever inner desires that I had pushed aside before returned.

I shared my feelings with my friend. He encouraged me to answer the gentle calling of God. So, I went to apply to joint the Jesuit pre-Novitiate; without telling my family. I was accepted. I was sure that my family would be happy and supportive for my religious calling. One month later, I wrote my family. My father was so happy that he left his farm and came to Dili just to hear me tell him about my vocation. Before returning, he asked the catechist to offer one Sunday Mass for me.

After spending one 1 year and a half in the pre-Novitiate, my application to the Novitiate was postponed for one more year. My formator asked me to live with the Jesuit fathers to experience the religious life more, since I did not know much about it. During this extra year, I was to continue to discern my religious vocation. I helped out in the house chores of washing the dishes, setting-up the table and preparing breakfast for the priests of the house. The longer I lived with the Jesuit priests, the more attracted I became to the Jesuit way of life. I found the priests to be very human, down to earth and selfless in their service of the needs of others. In their deep commitment to their vocation, two of them have even died for their faith. These inspiring priests strengthened and showed me the way of how to live my life as fully and meaningfully as I wanted my life to be lived in the future.

Novitiate Life

I have been here in the novitiate programme for the past one year and four months. To adjust to this new environment that is totally different from where I come from has not been very easy. The experiences of living with my fellow brothers of different cultures, educational backgrounds and ages have been most challenging for me. But, having immersed into this formation, the challenges have turned into enriching and inspiring experiences for me. I enjoy the companionship. There is love, happiness, fun and a lot of laughter among us in the community. The whole formation program of the Novitiate has been helping me to reaffirm my vocation which is to dedicate myself totally to love and serve God in my Jesuit calling.

I have deepened my personal relationship with the Lord through my daily prayers, daily consciousness examen, retreats, recollections, classes and I am able to do all these with the guidance of my Novice Master. I have also learnt and discovered more about my self. I have so far done two of my Pastoral Experiment; (working as migrant worker). The first was in St Joseph Home and the second was in Jurong Bird Park. These experiences have given me the opportunity to learn to serve God and most importantly, to experience the Jesuit Charism.

In short, Novitiate life has been challenging, fulfilling and enriching. I am grateful for these blessings and graces that our Loving God has given me. I realize more and more that Our Lord has a great and wonderful plan for each of us. The only thing we need to do is to listen and live it out daily. To end my sharing I would like to thank you for your prayers and generous support of our formation.

Links
· Choosing a Vocation
· More Vocation Stories
· Prayer